Hey, I’m Melanie, welcome to my honest little nook of the internet. This is where I’m going to share with you the power of surrender and the miraculous twists and turns my life has taken after I started to “let go, and let God”.
It’s my hope that through my story, you can start to believe that these miracles from God are available for you too.
“Let go and let God”.
I never really knew what that phrase meant. It felt like some intangible, overused, easier-said-than-done directive.
What does it even mean?
It sounds nice in theory, but how do you really put it into practice?
These were some of the questions I asked myself 7 years ago, when my life disintegrated right before my eyes. When I realized that the way I had been living up until that point was not working and there had to be another way.
Up until 2019, I was desperately striving to make my life look the way I wanted it to look. This was mostly shaped by what society deemed appropriate: 6-figure job, marriage, home, dog – what social media posts are made of!
On the surface it looked picture perfect.
But underneath, not so much.
Underneath there was binge eating, panic attacks, a toxic relationship, and a total disconnect from myself.
At the time, I was in a relationship that I knew, deep down, was not right for me. It was toxic and manipulative and all-consuming. In just 6 short years, I became a shell of the person who entered that relationship. Everything inside me was telling me to leave, but I kept ignoring that nudge.
It was interfering with my plan.
Do you notice how everything I have shared with you up until this point was about “me” and “my” plan and what “I” wanted?
I didn’t know there was another way.
I was tirelessly trying to row against the current of life to get to shore. So occupied with “my” vision that I didn’t realize if I just stopped paddling for one second and let the current take me, it would bring me to a place much more magical than the barren, desolate shore I was headed towards.
And that’s when God entered the scene.
One day, after my ex left for a trip I found a moment of peace. Every time he was away, I felt calm and more clear, able to relax. This was one of the many nudges that urged me to reconsider this relationship.
That day, in my desperation, I got down on my knees in my closet and I prayed. At the time I didn’t believe in God per-se, but I believed in a Higher Power and the Universe and Archangels, so I prayed to that.
I prayed for a sign, for a crystal clear without-a-doubt directive of what to do about this relationship. We were married at the time, and I always said that my two non-negotiables were cheating and hitting. Everything else, I would stick around for, so I needed something to show me this was/wasn’t right.
And like He does, God answered my prayer.
A few months later, on a random weekday, I popped into my Facebook message requests and found a message from a girl with physical proof my ex had cheated on me on the very trip he was on when I prayed to God for a sign that day in the closet.
That message was all I needed to wipe my hands of that relationship and everything about my life up until that point: marriage dissolved, properties sold, friendships gone, business partnerships over.
I was back to square one. But not just with worldly things like money and assets and relationships, I was starting over on the entire way I approached my life.
If the board game of Life had a spiritual edition, in the first round I chose ego, well this second attempt, I was choosing God.
At the time, I didn’t call it God. I called it Universe/Higher Power/Source. That felt safe after being raised Catholic and experiencing church hurt that turned me away from God (but that’s for a future blog post).
This was the first time I really experienced the power of God, and it was (and still is) the catalyst for my exploration of how to truly surrender to God and life’s natural current.
Since then, I’ve found and married the true love of my life (it’s seriously the best story, another blog to come), I’ve grown the deepest friendships with women I now consider sisters, I’ve healed my relationship with food and binge eating, I’ve grown a real estate business that my husband and I get to work in together, and so many other incredible things, but most importantly I’ve found God.
It wasn’t a straight line. I didn’t just have this ah-ha moment and my whole life became gumdrops and roses. The road has been winding and full of ups and downs. As I’m writing this my heart is still hurting from the second miscarriage we’ve had in the past 6 months (a blog for another day).
But this way of life, I promise you, I’d take a thousand times over the one I was living before. It’s raw and it’s real and it’s potent and unpredictable and magical and heartbreaking and incredible all at the same time.
If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably wondering how you can tap into this too.
I could share with you a hundred different books or podcast episodes that paved the way from there to here, but if I’m being honest, the one tool that has been a constant from the very beginning for me is journaling.
Over the past 7+ years I have filled the pages of over 33 journals. In those pages I slowed down to be present with myself, present with my life. It’s where I took the time to explore what was and was not working.
If I have learned one thing from this journey of life so far it’s that no one knows what’s right for you better than you do. And it’s that internal guiding light (that I now call the holy spirit) showing you the way.
We all have access to it, but if you don’t slow down to notice it, then it’s like it doesn’t even exist.
Just like I was ignoring the nudges to leave my ex, you probably have things in your life begging you to be noticed. What would happen if you got curious and started to listen and take small steps to follow that light?
If you’re anything like I was, you probably have about 3 or 4 half-started journals just waiting to be picked up. But if you don’t already have a journal or you’d like to start fresh, I created one with the very same format I’ve come to love over the years. Journaling continues to be a tool for me on my continued journey of surrender and cultivating my relationship with God.
You can explore the journal here on Amazon:
I am sending you so much love on this journey called life, and it’s my hope and prayer for you that you find the same peace and meaning I’ve been able to find through this adventure of life. It’s been messy and clunky, but I can honestly say I would not change a thing!
Sending prayers and blessings your way,
-Mel
Melanie Elizabeth 
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